Why SEO is Bad for Websites .. & a Cure for Effective Websites!

Effective Websites Ruin Your Fishing: How to Prevent Your Website Interfering with Your Fishing (and Golf)  

It has been conclusively proven that effective websites drive more customers to your website and will undoubtedly generate you more profit. 

 The outcome is more time being spent servicing customers, counting the money you make and generally being involved with your business.  These are the factors that lead to less time being available to fish, play golf, watch the game or have a beer with your buddies. 

  This causes stress. 

  Stress is bad for you and causes life threatening diseases.  So to stay healthy, and be able to enjoy life, you need to cut out all those strategies, tactics and actions that make your website effective.

 

Here's the official way to reduce the effectiveness of websites that cause life threatening stress, interferes with your fishing and ruins your golf swing.

 

1. Google's Matt Cutts has made it perfectly clear the number one way to stop your webpages being found by search engines was to ensure new pages can't be found by the search engines.  That means no site map, no internal links and no posting on social media.

 I'd go further and say the posting of any new content risks people finding it on a search engine and visiting your site. 

 Don't do it .. it will attract customers.

  

2. If you can't resist posting new content (some people can't), then ensure you keep your content hidden.  That means should ensure you use no follow links wherever possible or password protect your content.

 Another thing to bear in mind, if you must post content, is that Google prefers you not to post duplicate copy and seems to treat duplicate copy in a specific way.  It seems to give preference to the version of the copy where the site has most credibility.  So if you must duplicate copy ensure your duplicate copy goes onto high profile sites.  This means that version of the copy will be preferred and you'll get less traffic.  If you can encourage sites receiving your duplicate copy not to link back to your site that also helps ward off traffic to your site.

  

3. Highly searchable sites tend to be well structured with specific words on the pages. So to reduce your traffic don't include useful information on your pages.   For example if you have a retail business certainly don't include things like your opening hours as people might stumble upon them when Googling for things "what are [your stores] opening hours" and know when you are open. 

 If you have a physical location another bad thing to do is to include a location map.  Include this, and worse still parking details, and you could get more people visiting your physical site.

 Now think about the most frequently asked question people pose and ignore them on your site.  Providing FAQs on your site is dangerous and leads to more traffic. Be especially careful of posing the question asked in full e.g. What  payment terms are available?  If you must include this sort of FAQ make the question more obscure with simple questions and words like "terms".   This will make the information harder to find, reduce the likelihood of it appearing in searches and reduce traffic.

  

4. Compelling content should never be added to any website.  If you supply compelling content that fully answers visitors questions you are in trouble.  Other people will want to link to it and you'll be inundated with traffic.  It really is to be discouraged.  So short fragments of disjointed copy is all you should bother with.

  

5. Avoid specific page titles and description of pages.  Best practice if you want to minimise traffic is to use page title terms like "untitled" on every page.  This and other duplicate page titles confuse the search engines and are preferred.  

 It is especially good practice to obscure the purpose of your site on both the homepages and in all metatags.     Don't put a descriptive strapline on any page and certainly don't repeat it in any form in the metatags.

 Be warned meta descriptors are used to produce the snippets that appear in the search engines.  If the search engine results page snippets make sense you will get more visitors.  Avoid adding meta descriptor information at all costs.  Better still, to help prevent Google using copy from off your page, use random copy such as Lorem ipsum etc. to fool the search engines. 

  

6. A good way to reduce traffic is to ignore all information on Google Webmaster tools.

 Google Webmaster tools provides a lot of advice in written and video format for those people that don't want to fish or play golf as much as you.  Ignore it.

 What if I still get traffic?

 Assuming you fail on the above, and you still get website traffic, all is not lost.  

 You could stop paying your host and they'll turn your site off.  But if you are too busy on the golf course to cancel your automated annual payment you can make life difficult for anyone visiting the site.

 So rule seven has to be ....

 7. Don't provide internal links or a sitemap. If you make it too easy to navigate around your site people will stay and might even try to do business with you.

 

8. Protect your website with obscure password software.  I prefer the sort that on registering asks you to type in a password of your choice, then asks you to repeat it before telling you it mustn't contain certain characters.  The really good ones then let you repeat the process before explaining that your password must use between 73-75 characters, including 17 uses of %. * or #, but that this doesn't apply on Tuesdays.

 

9. Use obscure captcha software.  This is a good one and means that if you ask really frustrating questions of users they will go away.  I like the ones that ask you to divide 973 by Pi and then gives you seven seconds to do it.  That'll prove if they are really human.  (If you get a valid answer to this question then you should exclude them as they are clearly another computer trying to hack your site).

  

10. When lining up for that final putt you certainly don't want to be disturbed by your phone ringing.  It is bad etiquette and runs your game.

 So attend to your website and ensure you don't make it easy for people to find your contact details. The best way of doing this is never to add your phone or email details anywhere on the site.  If you must add them make sure they are hard to find and at least 3-4 clicks from any page that inadvertently gets traffic. Certainly don't add them to every page.

 It is permissible to use email contact forms but you should ensure all forms are hard to load and use  and that you never answer them.  If you can send all your email enquiries to a competitor's email address it really helps slow your business down.

  

I've asked some of my mastermind friends if they could also give some advice on reducing traffic flow to your site and this is what they said. 

 The Experts Say....

 

Offer confusing, badly worded guarantees

Provide no testimonials or testimonials that are luke warm with their praise!

Pack the website with spelling mistakes

Use really small font.

Have loads of annoying pop ups that load on every page.

Pack your website with adverts to inappropriate products

Mike Seddon

 

Don't provide a Value Proposition

Hide anything that makes you better or different than your competitors

Aim for mediocrity.

Avoid standing out.

Conceal any reason for people to be interested in you.

And enjoy your undisturbed fishing trip.

Peter Sandeen 

 

Pages should never have headlines -- at all. If for some reason there must be a headline, try to get as close to the aforementioned "Undefined" advice above.

Web copy must never be broken into distinct paragraphs. That makes it too easy to read. One big block of text is best.

If a visitor to the site becomes interested in your products/services, make sure there's no way for them to receive follow-up communications or updates.

Donnie Bryant

 

No need to test anything on your site. Your gut feel and experience will be fine.

 Using testing software to show different variations of your pages and find the most effective one is just a waste of money.

 Ian Brodie 

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Stefan Drew
01.04.2014